Heavy with child...still

1. I am a few days past 39 weeks, and I have to say that I am pretty proud of myself for making it this far....not like I had a choice, but I feel like a survivor since I've been whining about wanting to evict this thing for about 5 weeks now. We made it!  And I don't have to feel guilty because she won't be a preemie!

2. Today feels weird...I sincerely hope that means that today is THE day. Even if it's just the day I finally go into full fledged labor and the baby isn't born until tomorrow (in which case, labor needs to hold off until much later this evening).  In any case, I am super restless, yet I want to do nothing more than sleep. My body is stuck between forcing myself to go DO something fun to keep me from pacing around the apartment and staying in bed and forcing myself to sleep. I seriously just keep walking randomly from one place to another, like a bouncy ball. And then I end up in bed where I sleep for no more than 45 minutes at a time because by then I need to pee or shift my body because it hurts.  And you can forget productivity, Darren...I know you're reading this and thinking I could do some chores, but the focus required to even type this sentence is insane.  

It may mean nothing in the end, but today feels weird.

3. At the very least I should probably get a shower.  Then, if I feel any kind of ambition I will wrestle my tennis shoes on my feet and go for a walk in this lovely weather.  That will earn me a nap, and hopefully, a baby.

5. I've been experiencing a bunch of suspicious labor-is-nearing symptoms all week, so I'm definitely ready for something to happen. 

4. This morning I made decent oatmeal for Darren.  Go me!  This was my third attempt, and I could't be more proud. We like our oatmeal to be different consistencies, so it took a little practice to get his down.

5.  My fashion-oriented brother made a statement on his blog this week that I think is super quote-worthy: 

"I've decided that a lot of girls think they have to trade fashion for modesty, or modesty for fashion. That is not true. The immodestly dressed is the least creative. If you can catch everyone's eye without surrendering to sexuality, you've won."

6.  My current favorite song is "Girl on Fire" by Alicia Keys. She's super hot and has an outstanding voice.  The video is weird though.

Actually, I find most music videos weird, so I may not be the best judge of those.  In any case, I love the song.

7. I had originally decided not to share this just in case somebody get the wrong idea about how I feel about church, but I really want to. This blogger is pretty spot on with the emotions I often feel at church (not at the church itself, but at some of the wackadoodles who are there).

This post and the one before it are the ones to look at.  I was dying with giggles.

8. The celebrate my disgust for badly pronounced words and the people who use words that aren't real words (and have no idea that they are doing so):

Amen, sister.

Potato and Sausage Casserole

YUMMO!

So I made this tasty little dish for supper earlier this week, and just let me say, it was/is stupendous.  I am still munching on the leftovers.

Mr. Hottie even complimented it and returned for seconds. Success!

I found it on Pinterest, and for the most part I followed the recipe.  I HIGHLY recommend it!

Disclaimer: I don't recommend it because it is healthy by any means....I'm fairly certain it is the complete opposite of healthy.

Anyway, the recipe can be found here.

And here:

*Changes I made due to either an ingredient shortage or just because I can:

• In place of the Velveeta I simply melted in about a third of a block of cheddar cheese.
• I used 2 gigantic potatoes....it was plenty.
• I did not bother to peel my sausage....that's weird.  I just used a package of Zummos.  I think it had about 7 or 8 links.
• I sprinkled on french fried onions about 5 minutes before pulling it out of the oven. I would venture to say that the final outcome was probably improved by a bajillion percent by doing so.

3 cups idaho potatoes, peeled, boiled and cut into cubes when cool, approx. 1 lb
4 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
2 cups milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 lb Velveeta cheese, diced
1/2 cup sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 lb skinless smoked sausage (Eckrich is my favorite brand)
1/8 teaspoon paprika
Directions:

1
Cut skinless smoked sausage in half, lengthwise, and then chop into 1/2 inch "half moon" cuts. Cook in a frying pan for about 15 minutes, turning frequently to SLIGHTLY brown.
2
Meanwhile, put cooked & diced potatoes in 2 quart casserole. Add cooked meat and give it a gentle toss.
3
Mix all remaining ingredients (except for shredded cheddar cheese & the paprika) in a saucepan over medium heat until warm, melted and smooth. (Use a whisk and stir constantly.).
4
Pour white/cheese sauce over potatoes and meat. Sprinkle shredded sharp cheddar cheese on top, and then sprinkle paprika evenly over the top.
5
Bake in preheated 350°F oven for 35-45 minutes (watch, until golden brown on top).
6
NOTE: You can substitute: 1/2 lb. hot dogs, sliced into 1/2-inch slices OR 1/2 lb. ham diced into 1/2-inch dices OR 12 oz. can of Spam diced into 1/2-inch dices, instead of the smoked sausage.

Read more at: http://www.food.com/recipe/joleans-cheese-potato-smoked-sausage-casserole-126623?oc=linkback

My feelings on the matter

1. I am really enjoying this in-between world of not working and waiting for the baby the be born.  I have been making Darren breakfast and packing his lunch all week, and I've come to cherish that part of the day, before the sun even comes up, just sitting over a small breakfast and visiting.  It's almost like late night talks, except he isn't begging me to be quiet so he can sleep =)

I hope this new routine can continue to feel that special after the baby is born.

2. The only thing that has progressed since last week's OB visit is the size of my baby.  She will be a big'n.

3. The doctor wants to see me twice next week. She is still super supportive of me going into spontaneous labor, but has given me the threatening induce-by date.  Not an exact date, but she said 41 weeks is as far as she feels she can safely let me go, and though I might disagree normally, if this baby is really going to be big..............I don't want to go past then either, especially with "narrow" hips. I feel like the further on we go, and the bigger the baby gets, the more likely they will want to cut me.  But I also do not want to be induced, so next week is THE week for attempting natural inductions. I will be 39 weeks then.

4. We are walking fools these days....I know we could be more foolish about it, but I can only go so far before I feel my hips start to disintegrate and it becomes vital to rest until the next day. However, I'm limping less after every walk, so that is a good thing. Maybe I can walk the next 5K we have here after all. I might even be able to jog a little......if the baby is born this weekend, I could have 6 weeks to rest and get ready.  And I would have time to register under the cheaper price...haha

5. Darren is the new scout master in our ward, and he is pretty gung-ho about it.  I'm not sure if it is more annoying to live with all my brothers who despised  scouts and fought it EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, or if it is worse to live with an enthusiastic adult who shows me nerdy scout decals he could put on his truck.  In any case, he is working hard to get things going, and I can't help but admire that.

So I guess my brothers win...they were more annoying.

6. The way people stare at my belly in public is not super sweet anymore. There are still plenty of sweet looks, but there are a lot of gawking looks.  I know I'm not THAT big, but people look at me like I am.  Or I am just overly self-conscious, but I do get a lot of weird, smile-free stares.

7. A bone to pick: Creepy dudes who think they can talk pregnancy with first time moms.  I don't mind those conversations as long as they remember that they have never actually been pregnant, but I cannot tell you how many men speak as though they gave birth themselves.  The "knowing" smiles FREAK ME OUT.  No, YOU DON'T know.  You are creepy, is what you are.

8. I went to a local playgroup play date for a FB page I am a part of for local moms this week. It was actually a lot of fun.  After the baby is born (and a good little amount of time has passed) I want to participate more often.  I haven't met new people in ages.  Not going to school limits a lot of that.  Getting married limits a lot of that.  Working with all the same customers/patients limits a lot of that.  Not working REALLY limits a lot of that.  Anyway, a friend from high school and I met up there (she actually has a kid) so we could meet some of the other moms in person.  We really enjoyed it, and will definitely be going back.

9. I've become such a whiner about wanting to have this baby.  I've considered starting a Twitter account just so I can get it out and not have it all over my Facebook or blog, and to hopefully stem the tide of whining that poor Darren has to listen to.  But I'm afraid I would become addicted to the Twitter-complaints, and every thought that went through my head would make it to the WWW.  So nope...you guys will just have to deal with it or go elsewhere to blog stalk.

10. Tonight I am going to a GNO Shelf-Reliance party that Erin is hosting.  I will not be buying anything (though I really wish I could...I hear the stuff is fantastic), but I'm so excited for the soup that will be served, and that I am finally able to even go to something like this.  I've always got other plans, or am just too lazy to go through the trouble.  I'm pretty stoked about this.  At this point, if the baby decides to be born today, I will be a little upset. She's waited this long, she can at least wait until I get my hands on that soup and get some good laughs in for the night.

It's Fwiday!

Today marks my last day at work. 

I am going out with a bang as far as my appearance goes...I showered before bed last night, which means my hair is one unruly mess this morning.

But I got to sleep until nearly 8:30, so it is so worth it.

____________________________________________

Darren and I attended the only session of childbirth/parenting classes that I think we can stomach.  I really wanted to go so that we could participate in the group tour of the birthing center.  I feel much more confident in my visualizations of this whole even now. (the rooms have changed a bit since I was there in high school doing my little clinicals).

9 o'clock at night is a little late to allow a class to end, especially for the massively pregnant.  I saw lots of droopy eyes around the room through my own.  It made it hard to care about what she was teaching, even though she is a good teacher.

Except she said "umbiblical" chord one too many times. I wanted to correct her, but I figure she's been in the job long enough to know the correct way to say it, maybe her tongue just breaks when she says that word. Other than that, I don't see much of an excuse.

Darren can't get over how ridiculous the term "bag of waters" sounds.  I kind of agree.

She couldn't get her computer to work, so we didn't get to watch a birth.  No problem, though, because Darren and I totally took care of that a couple weeks ago via Youtube.  We are so ready.

____________________________________________

There is a free pot-bellied pig on the farm and ranch page I'm a member of on Facebook (no judging....there are a lot of cute pets and manly equipment my husband might like on there, so I like to keep tabs on it...I'm not a farming poser...yet).  I that the ad began, "I have a hot male pot-bellied pig...".  It really just says, "I have a male pot-bellied pig", but my crazy eyes made me look twice. I was like, "Wow...I need to see this pig."

I think a pot-bellied pig would make such a cute pet. 

____________________________________________

Yesterday I experienced a most uncharacteristic burst of motivation and energy.  I'm not sure if it was the mythical burst people speak of the precedes labor, but I got a lot done.  And the nag to keep it going hasn't died yet.  I still have plenty to do, and undo, from yesterday to get it all done (I went into work 2 hours late because of this weirdo need to work on things).  I was super tired last night, but there was no winding me down.  I tried to fight the urge to fold baby clothes by taking a hot bath, but I ended up only prolonging the laundry experience.  So I watched some shows on Netflix and folded laundry and ate crackers.  Like a crazy lady. I also organized my hospital bag (which is still missing lots of stuff, but at least I finally settled on a headband for me and take-home outfits for the wee one...and bought and packed Jolly Ranchers).

The nag is so great that I almost want to forbid her to be born until I am finished, and that is saying something.

____________________________________________


I had a dream last night that a lady from the ward was helping me with a minor sewing project and to "help" she needed to cut up my baby quilt that I just made.  She snipped it straight down the center, with me screaming "Stop it!!!!" the whole time.  She just goes, "Oh, why? I need to do this".  I sobbed.  And sobbed. And sobbed. And screamed.  And wanted to choke her.  I also complained to my parents in the dream, who were appalled.  I couldn't even fathom a way to repair the damage she had done.

I have never been so relieved to wake up.

And I am not sure I can ever forgive this offense.  I don't care if it was a dream.

End in sight

I know that the word "dilated" in reference to my inner lady bits is a pretty tacky thing to have on my blog, so I apologize if my previous post made you uncomfortable.  It kind of made me uncomfortable rereading it just now.

All the same, my sentiment toward the meaning of the post remains, therefore, so does the word.

Report from the doc: I've made some progress. I won't be pregnant forever!

And, she said that if I make it to 39 weeks I am allowed (rather, she would be comfortable with) me attempting self-induction through various means, my favorite of which is still massage.

Come onnnnn 39 weeks. Or labor. 

Whichever comes first.

Here's hoping

My 37 week appointment is this morning!

My fingers are crossed that she will say at least one of these things:

• "You are dilated" (...even if it's just a little bit)
• "You may certainly get the (hopefully) labor-inducing ankle rub down this week"

Either statement would make my heart flutter.

According to my ultrasound from last Friday, the baby's estimated weight (as of that day) was 6.5 lbs.  The ultrasound also had me measuring slightly further behind and the tech told me I had 4 weeks until my due date instead of 3.5.  No ma'am. I do not want to grow this thing for another 4-6 weeks at half a lb a week, give or take a few ounces.

That equals an 8.5-9.5 lb baby at birth.  

Let's just say that this is my first, and the prospect of delivering anything that large scares the doodoo out of me.

I'm good with a 7 pounder, thanks.  That is horrifying enough.

In more promising news, I had the most legit contractions of my pregnancy last night.  I was 50% certain I was starting labor, but it chilled out after a couple hours, and the timing was never regular.  Lame.  

Oh, and Darren acts a crazy (yet adorable) fool when I'm in that kind of pain/discomfort.  Just know that he mayyyy not survive.  He thinks it is cute to irritate the bear.

The bear does not exactly find it amusing, though she will continue to love him regardless....sigh...

Status of Baby

1. This morning I had my 36 week OB appointment.  For lack of a classier way of saying it, I am still closed up tight and nothing has changed.  Nothing significant to anybody except for me, of course, because I promise you this: I am surprised she hasn't fallen out.

2.  I am both pleased and terribly unhappy that there hasn't been any progress.  On the one hand I would love for her birth to be as healthy and normal as possible (i.e. much closer to 40 weeks), and the more normal things stay, the more likely it is that I will get the birth I want.  On the other (more selfish) hand, I want her OUT.  And I am tired of having to think that every contraction and every cramp is one I need to pay attention to.  Everyone assures me differently, so I believe them, but one of my biggest fears remains that by the time I realize I am in labor it will be too late to make a leisurely trip to the hospital.  I am a part-time planner, so the anticipation of the unknown is driving me bonkers.

3. Also, I have managed to not tee-tee in my pants this whole time--a top priority for me.  I'm pretty gangster.

4. My final ultrasound is on Friday! I will finally get another look at this little piglet and find out what her estimated weight is.

(and if there are secretly two babies in there o.O ...dun dun dunnnnn)

(there aren't secretly two babies in there, but the idea of a last minute surprise is a little exciting, so I entertain the possibility)

(and it feels like there could secretly be five babies in there, so two wouldn't really surprise me all that much)

5. My baby shower is this weekend.  If you are wanting to come and would like to know when and where (and aren't a creeper...) just let me know, and I will hook you up with the info! It's going to be a rockin shindig.

6. Coworker Becky gave me a flipping fantastic massage today...I can't even begin to describe how much it helped my back.  She said that before I leave forever next week that she will do a full hour, full body massage, including this funny trick where she massages my belly and makes the baby do awesome things. I'm super interested to see what that is like.

7. P.S. I am probably the world's biggest prenatal massage fan. IT.IS.WORTH.IT.

8. I got myself pre-registered at the hospital this morning.  It is a step in my plan to arrive at L&D in a leisurely fashion.  None of that frantic paperwork nonsense like they show in the movies.

9. This baby girl is not the least bit intimidated by tiny living quarters. She moves frequently and dramatically. Soft and cute movements are the exception. Bless her little heart, she is making me miserable.

(I won't hold it against her)

10. My nails look amazing right now.  They are painted much like a 13-year old girl who thinks she is going to show the world a thing or two about rebellion would have hers painted. Pink with black crackle on top.

(Did I mention I was gangster?)

Quilt for Baby!

This week I began a baby quilt that I wasn't sure I would ever complete (because I'm not so great at finishing crafty things I start).  However, I did it! And I couldn't be more proud of it, mistakes and all.

I'm so excited to have this for my baby.

And special thanks definitely goes to my other baby for giving me the machine to make it possible.

(I apologize for the cruddy cell phone quality pictures...)