Monday, April 20, 2015

Parenting Epiphanies

I adore my children, but there is not much to be said about ease in mothering a two-year old. So far it is proving to be an extra delightful demanding interesting ...interestingly delightful and demanding age. Everything is an extreme. Everything. She is never just happy or made. She is VERY happy or VERY mad. And everything in between. Keeping up with her moods and (and my resulting moods) is a constant source of emotional whiplash, and though it is a struggle, it is my struggle, and I love my daughter enough to see us through. ;)

That being said, I LOVE when I feel like I've found something that works! Something that can help me help her or understand her better. She still doesn't speak very well or clearly, so communication is a huge factor in our disconnected moments. I am trying to teach her ways to communicate with me, and she is constantly trying to reach me. Love is more of a battlefield in parenting than in the dating world, in my humble opinion. Within the last week I have had two light bulb moments. Two moments where I received direct inspiration that enabled me to open my mind for a moment and recognize what was happening.

1. Pictures speak to toddlers.

This seems super obvious, but I never realized just how much influence pictures can have.  There is a picture frame on Emma's nightstand that includes pictures of several people, including her Uncle Panda (Aunt Amanda). She adores Panda. One day, Darren was saying something to Emma about Panda, and without a word she left the room, retrieved the picture, and ran back to Darren, pointing to her.  Several days later, Panda called Emma on the phone, and I found Em in her room holding the phone up to the picture (as though Amanda can see through it ;) ) and repeatedly screaming, "It's you! It's you!". Separately, Emma has been fighting us so hard at prayer time lately. She has been folding her arms since she was 10 months old, but has suddenly decided that she won't have anything to do with it. Out of desperation one night I took a picture off of her wall that shows a little girl praying. I tried to help her copy the girl, but she refused. I ended up forgetting to put the picture away, so it stayed on the bottom shelf of her nightstand for several days. Then, one night, we were saying family prayer and she insisted on folding her hands the same way that the girl holds her hands in the picture, and she's been doing it ever since.

Moral of the story: I have an opportunity here to intentionally place influential pictures at my daughter's height through her room, and even the house. Why are the pictures I want her to have up high? As though she is really looking up there? No. She sees. She pay attention. She mimics. This is a real opportunity.

2. The food my daughter eats is a direct reflection of how I'm feeding myself/The more I care about what I'm eating, the healthier I feed my daughter.

I have been making a concentrated effort for the last 8 days to exercise real moderation and portion control in my diet, as well as making healthier food choices. The most obvious result so far? Emma loves to be like Mommy. Turns out she LOVES carrots and ranch, and she always wants some of my snacks. This is also an opportunity. I can use this time to instill in her a love and preference for tasty and healthy snacks. Her hotdog consumption has decreased dramatically since I began focusing on my eating, and that's not through any obvious effort on my part. She is wanting what I eat and asking for the foods I eat (even when I'm not necessarily eating them).

Opportunity.