Exercise and Love

1.  I have officially exercised two days so far this week.  Two more to go.

2.  On Monday, I totally overdid it.  I know that sounds wimpy, and I hate to sound like I'm not up to the challenge, but man....something overdid something.  I did a mile in the morning (it was awesome), but then in the evening we went on a 3 mile "family run" with a local running club.  It ended up being me and a 17 lb baby in a jogging stroller while Darren sat in the car and waited for our return.  In his defense, I parked the car without knowing where the race began or the course would go.  Naturally, it was really far away from the start, and the course ran the opposite direction.  So much for passing the stroller off to him "on a loop".  It. was. miserable.  I may or may not have tried to pawn the baby off on other runners, but nobody would do it.

Lazies.

Anyway, by the time I went to bed I was feeling sick, my head was POUNDING, and I felt flu-ish.  The feeling lingered until the next afternoon. Blegh.

3.  I feel much better tonight.  The only two working treadmills at our gym were occupied, so I resorted to the elliptical (which machine I hate).  I forced myself to do 15 minutes.  It actually wasn't that bad (as opposed to last time I did the elliptical and nearly collapsed...and that time I was only on it for 10 minutes).  Either way, it is better than nothing.

4.  This weekend I am helping to man the table for a breastfeeding peer support group I am a member of at a family and baby expo.  I am very excited to be proactive about something for like, the first time ever.  I'm not sure what all it will entail, but I know we'll be talking a lot about boobies.

5.  Then I have a chiropractic appointment in the afternoon.  I cannot tell you how long it has taken me to work up the courage to ask my former boss for an adjustment (I got them for free as an employee....it just seems rude to expect the same treatment now).  Anyway, we've agreed to barter for food.  She will get a jar of homemade tomato sauce.  I think she'll appreciate that.

6.  My neck, my ankles, my head, my back, and most importantly, my child-bearing hips, are SO excited to attend this appointment.  To say my bones have shifted since the last adjustment (which took place some time in January) would be a big fat understatement.

8.  Emma will be 6 months old this Friday.  6 MONTHS.  Say it isn't so.

9.  She is an absolute doll.  That is, when she isn't teething.  She has been in the flirtiest of flirty moods today, and despite the fact that we made 16 million stops while running errands, everybody we met got some of her best smiles.

10.  All of her smiles are covered in drool these days.  I love it.  I even love it when I go in for a kiss and she manages to smear it all over me.  My gag reflex kicks in a little bit, but there is something about it that I can't get enough of.  I love my baby girl!

These guys are the loves of my life.

Morning accomplishments

I ran a mile this morning!

Yes, you read that right.  THIS MORNING.

The very act of doing so had me so fired up, my head made a list of things I would accomplish as I walked home from the sitter's apartment.

And here I sit on my living room floor not having accomplished a single one.

Wait, that isn't true.  I showered and ate brunch.

The laundry and dirty carpet are still leering at me because they know me better than I do.

I ate too much for brunch.

Burp cloths are too small, and other things

1.  I went to a baby shower tonight that had approximately 14 million guests.  Like, The Royal Wedding didn't have as many attendants.

2.  I gave a 100% homemade gift. Go me.  I normally show up to such functions empty handed (because I'm a cheapskate slimeball who spends her dollars on Chick-fil-A and diapers rather than stuff for other people).

3.  The gift I gave? I'm glad you asked.  I'm actually a little annoyed that the gift was even available to give, because as soon as I discovered it in the planning stages I was upset with myself for not thinking of it months ago for my own kid.  Alas, I will get over it.  I simply scavenged my drawers for those mostly useless receiving blankets that pregnant ladies receive and sliced them up to make burp cloths that are the right size, and soft enough to not scratch a baby's face off.  The blankets are already basically giant burp cloths anyway, since they are barely large enough to swaddle a hamster.

Just in case you are reading this and happened to bestow these blankets on me (I haven't the slightest remembrance of who gave them to me), don't think I'm not grateful.  I did use them when Wonder Baby was teeny tiny, but more for snuggling than swaddling.

In any case, they make great burp cloths.

4.  Speaking of burp cloths, has anyone ever noticed how ridiculously small those things are? As if.  Kari, if you are reading this and possibly wondering why I made yours so huge....the answer is simple.  Because they should all be that way.

5.  My Wonder Baby has an ear infection, and it is a pitiful sight to see.  She fluctuates between being the happiest kid on the planet to the saddest, whiniest, and snively little thing. It breaks my heart.  She received her first dose on antibiotics ever tonight.

6.  When I smelled her meds the little kid inside of me got excited.  I loved the taste of that junk way back when.

7.  I got an iPhone this weekend.  My reasons for choosing this device boil down to two: 1) I want to feel cool, and 2) the majority of my siblings and siblings-in-law use them.  Win-win.

8.  Some girl cousins of mine and myself held a girls' night this weekend at my place.  It was delightful! We talked about any and everything, largely inappropriate stuff.  We also went swimming.  It definitely needs to happen on a more regular basis.

9.  A woman called out to her mother at the shower tonight, and I turned around to answer.  I can't possibly tell you why since my only offspring cannot yet form the word, much less speak it with the voice of a full grown woman.

10.

That has to be the most winning smile I have ever seen on a baby.  Such a happy little girl! I love her to pieces.

"I just had a baby"

Some feelings I have been experiencing lately concerning motherhood and raising a baby:

• Weight. I miss my body.  I seriously never thought I would say this, but I do.  I remember thinking "I have the body of a cutely pudgy mom" before I was married.  Oh no I didn't.  I NOW have the body of an uncutely pudgy mom, and I hate it.  I really honestly do.  The stretch marks don't annoy me so much as the never ending fluffy sag, and the fact that my hips will apparently never shrink again.  Fluffy skin aside, I should be able to get my jammie pants back on by now.  But I can't.  Not most of them anyway.
• I think we should all travel back in time and punch me in the face for not appreciating myself back then.
• I'm tired of using the "I just had a baby" excuse for how I look.  It is a cop out, and I'm done.  I've been running more the last couple of weeks, and I am pretty proud of me. I haven't been yet this week, but I've also been sick.  Tomorrow night IT IS ON.
• I also want my hair to stop falling out, if it isn't too much to ask.
• Breastfeeding.  We are just over 5 months in on this journey, and I am only recently beginning to realize how much I value that bond.  Up to this point it has been "the natural thing to do" that I cared about, but didn't really appreciate.  Now I am in awe every time I see Emma's rollie pollie legs, knowing that something I provided her with made that.  It is very empowering whenever I consider it, and I wish that all women could experience that feeling.  It is one redeeming quality I respect about my body currently, in reference to the first bullet point =) 
• Side note ...I want to be a lactation consultant.  I feel an urge to learn more, contribute to the field, and help make a difference in the lives of moms and babies.  I feel oddly passionate about it, and as Darren will lament, that is a rather rare way for me to feel.  I am not passionate about enough things, apparently! Haha
• Caretaking.  That is the other major bond I could not fathom at the beginning.  My life revolves around her needs, and I love that.  She knows I will be here, and she trusts me.  I love to let other people care for her as well, but sometimes I just NEED to.  For instance, she was constipated Monday night, and after "helping" her finish the job, through lots of shrieking cries on her side and pleading encouragements on mine, all I could think about was holding her and letting her know she would be okay.  I needed to love her, and I could not let it go.  Darren tried to take her afterwards (I was working on a project), and I was devastated.  She needed me....and by that I mean that I needed her.  The project had to wait.
• Mommy wars.  I have sooooooo much to say on this topic, but this will be the super short Reader's Digest version.  I hear/read so many hateful comments about the decisions that mothers make, from crib sleeping/co sleeping to breastfeeding/formula feeding to BF in public to the circumcision debate, and so on.  There is enough inherent guilt attached to raising these little creatures, and most ladies I know are pretty good at beating themselves up.  There are so many differing opinions on my Facebook alone that I honestly consider the possible comments I could receive from certain people before I post certain pictures or links.  Within the FB groups I am in I constantly see moms posting questions followed up by a mile long list of justifications for why they do what they do.  Moms should not have to be so defensive. Let's stop beating each other up and let it be. Babies just need love, kisses, and clean diapers, in that order. The rest is all fluff. 

A few pictures

July 4 ...she sucked that puppy dry

My sewing skills have advanced, ever so slightly! She loves to play with this and chew on it.

I'm kind of obsessed with watching her sleep ...I have way too many photos of the activity.

The picture won't rotate, but the expression is cute.

And, again. 

Evidence of breakfast

HOW is she comfortable with her arm extended like that??? Alas, she was passed clean out.  Must not have been too bad.