I feel like I can be honest here...

...unlike on Facebook. News travels much slower via my blog than the more instant versions of social networking. ;)

I feel like there's a decent chance that labor could really get going tonight. Obviously there is no guarantee, but unless I'm experiencing that awful sounding scenario where labor starts and stops and starts and stops... there's no reason for this to not progress. That being said, the next step on my to-do is to go to bed and get some rest. The Google says that is what I need to do to help encourage it.

I had some pretty gnarly contractions for a few hours tonight, but they never really got closer than 10-20 minutes apart. They certainly hurt though. Since then they've kind of petered out and left me with mild cramps and achy hips and what feels like the beginning of a million contractions. The pain keeps coming on suddenly and then dying before it's had a chance to do much. I've spent some quality time with the yoga ball today, and I do believe there is something to that method. Not that I expect it to throw me into labor, but it really helps me feel like my pelvis is opening up and the baby is descending lower. Plus, it's a really good excuse to watch Netflix for absurdly long stretches at a time, guilt-free. Win-win.

I'm so scared of Emma losing her "only child" status. She's my baby and the center of my little world. We have such a special relationship. She is the center of her own little universe. I've never worried that I wouldn't have enough love to share between my children, but the closer we get to having two of them, the more worried I become that the first one won't understand that I still love her more than anything. I worry more that I won't be able to effectively demonstrate the love I feel. I worry that she'll negatively react to the shift in my attention. I know in my heart that none of that is as true as I let myself think it is, but still. I've been trying to soak up every "last time" activity so that I can have that memory. Every night for the last couple of weeks when I put her to bed I tell myself it's the last time I'll be doing that for her as an only child. The last night we'll get to go through our special bedtime rituals. So far it's been a lie, but intentionally treating each night like "the last" has been great for me. It helps me cherish her snuggles more, even if she is crushing my belly. My baby.

Anyway, wish me luck. Here's to hoping that things will really start hurting within the next few hours. Cheers.

My sweet girl giving me smoochies