Weaning.
The word itself makes me cringe.
It sounds so much like....deprivation? Like, "you clearly need, want, or depend on this so much we have to manipulate you into living happily without it" deprivation.
In any case, it's been a hot topic around here for a few months now as we've been trying to figure out the right time and how we are going to approach it. Sure, I'd love to let her nurse as long as she wants, but I'm too selfish for that. Not that moms who wean are selfish, but I literally can't come up with a reason as to why I should wean her that isn't completely in my own self-interest. So be it.
The most compelling reason has been the winner though, it having everything to do with how The Girls feel in light of my being with child. They don't feel great.
It's pretty easy to say "no" when the alternative is super painful.
I think Emma has nursed her last. Tuesday morning was the last time we nursed this week, and I've been saying "no" ever since, with fairly minimal protesting. Sure, she keeps asking. But all I have to do (most of the time) is ask her where her milk is, and she goes to retrieve her sippy from wherever she last left it.
Putting her down for her nap or bedtime is still tricky, but it seems to be getting easier. And by that I mean smoother. Easy is relative, and the evolving routine seems to take a very long time. That kid takes a while to drift to sleep without nursing.
The reality of it is starting to sink in, and it is making me sad. I miss that part of our relationship and will always remember it as special. At the same time, that aspect of our relationship is transitioning into something new, something equally special, and something that I'm excited about. The cuddles I get when she's falling asleep now are out of this world, whereas before, cuddling always meant nursing. The version of her that just sits on my lap and lays on my chest when she wants to reconnect throughout the day is a version of her that I have been waiting to meet for a long time. My baby is becoming my little girl.
2 comments:
Weaning is super hard! Poor Holland probably had the most difficult time with it. When I got pregnant with Annelise, he was still such a little guy that I kept nursing and totally experienced what you are talking about with the pain. I stuck it out because I wanted to give him at least a full year of nursing. But, as I got further in the pregnancy, his nursing would bring contractions. I had to stop immediately after his first birthday because it was becoming dangerous, since I have a history of premature rupture. It was hard and I worried if he would resent me. But, he was fine! Point is, you will always be "mama" and the source of all that she needs, whether you're still nursing or not. Give yourself a little break before baby #2 comes along. :)
Thank you!! Weaning is SO hard! Everyone who makes it sound easy is crazy in my book. So far it is going well, and if today is any indicator (and I sincerely hope it is...), we are in the clear! Bedtime was a breeze tonight, and I could not be any more endeared to that little cutie than I am right now. :)
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