Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Things I was Never Told About Pregnancy

I was never told that...
  • ...I would experience a full 9 months (I assume it will continue) of leaky sinuses and boogery nostrils. I have never picked my nose so much IN MY LIFE. AND I WAS A FAITHFUL NOSE-PICKING CHILD.
  • ...hormones would make me psycho. I had always assumed they were referring to the "weepy" side of being hormonal (something I have plenty of experience with), but no, they weren't. I can want to choke complete strangers one minute, but then the next minute I can laugh so hard at a story I ALREADY KNOW that I cry my eyes out. It's like, no matter what I do my eyes think they need to participate by taking a whiz on my cheeks. 
  • ...my already vivid dreams would become more even more so, and that they would likely develop a theme. In my case, nudity. Of random people from church. There is usually only one of them naked per dream, but MAN. Church gets awkward for me. All I can think when I see them again is, "Hey, last time I saw you you were naked....ummm". 
    • I don't even want to KNOW what that means. Dream interpretations have no place in pregnancy.
  • ...I would have the appetite of a horse. Oh wait, they did tell me that. Well, it continues to surprise me. 
So me...
  • ...I would worry about squishing her every time I sit down or cuddle with Darren while watching TV. 
  • ...I would have a panic attack every time I see an ugly or horribly disobedient child.
  • ...I would want to maim everyone who insinuates that I am not being healthy enough (though I admit, I could stand to exercise more and drink more water...but that's nobody's business except mine. And Darren's too, I suppose. He does have a lot invested in this little uterine piglet...but even he will feel the wrath of Psycho Pregnant Emily if he says it in the wrong way at the wrong time. It's better for everyone if nobody takes that risk.)
  • ...I would tear up every time I feel her move during quiet moments when I can just lay there and feel her little jabs and kicks with my hands. 
  • ...I would feel so honored to get to even carry something so special inside of me. I always thought my body was so lame. Turns out that it isn't. It is miraculous, and I love it. 

8 comments:

Emelie Leifi said...

Okay, I'm sitting here in the quiet college library...CRYING! :') I'm so super happy for yall! Makes me wanna look at my lets-take-it-slow beau and choke him and scream, "DUDE! Get it together and let's get hitched!!...so we can procreate!" Anyway, yeah, wow! LOVE it! <3

Ange Bendixsen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ange Bendixsen said...

You hit it on the nail with the first one! I'm actually up more at night because I can't breath then because I have to go to the bathroom. Between a nettie pot, humidifier and vicks constantly under my nose you would think something would work. If you have any ideas, let me know! The psycho hormones and hungry as a horse hasn't hit yet but I'm sure it will soon! However, the feeling of awe is here. Isn't it wonderful?!

Emily said...

Haha yes, Emelie, but seriously, nothing is better than knowing the time is right! (Not to sound like one of those "I'm married, so now I know everything and am sooooo wise" kind of people...I hate those people. Hahaha). But I loved that reassurance for myself, so I am excited for when you guys get to feel it too =)

Emily said...

Ange, I pick my nose. A lot.

So far it hasn't solved anything, but it gives me something to do during my all night potty breaks (and all day potty breaks...). Basically, it gives great temporary relief, and gives me something to do. Gross. Good luck! ;-)

Anonymous said...

The human body really is a miraculous and perfectly designed creation. Isn't it cool that you and Darren get to assist in helping Heavenly Father's plan by creating another human being's body?? Life is quite beautiful.

Emelie Leifi said...

Emily... just to clarify cuz the thought has been on my mind - the comment I made sounded (to me, anyway) kinda..."dirty." (about procreating) So not it! It might be, and probably is, all in my head, but I mean what I said with all sacredness and happiness and all that jazz. Make sense? Anyway... We're just waiting on the Lord's time for us, then we'll move along. :)

Emily said...

Hahaha I didn't take it dirty! I have to admit I took it both ways (spiritually and "dirty")...totally acceptable ;-)