What kind of Legacy Do I Want to Leave?

I've been thinking a lot about this over the last week since Kim passed away, and for all the times I've attempted to express it with the spoken word, I need to write it down. I can express myself so much better with writing.

First of all, when I got the news of her death I was absolutely shocked, just like everyone else. She was the best kind of person this world could know, and I saw her seriously, like, two weeks before. On a more selfish note, this is the first time in my life I have ever lost anyone I actually knew and cared about. I've never truly grieved a person till now, and I have to say that it isn't my favorite thing to do. I've been praying a lot.

Last Thursday I was asked to help clean up their home in preparation for Will's family to arrive. I'd never been further than the main living areas and hallway before this day, so I wasn't prepared to witness the scope of her homemaking. In my house, even if the front rooms are clean, the more private areas are more than certain to be trashed (most likely full of the stuff I crammed in there from the living room...). But Kim's home? Nope. Everything has a place. Every place has a purpose. Every room is made to be something and houses a spirit of homeyness. So much of her has been poured into those things which actually make her house a home. I'm sure her family felt the joy and delight, sweetness and safety of the space she created for them. Every room held evidence that her hands had been at work there, from the crafts and projects she'd made to the simple arrangements of decorations. I can't claim that she did this all by herself, but I think I can confidently say that she was the mastermind behind it all.

This quote sums up the effect her home had on me and the kind of woman she is:

There is no career more meaningful, no calling more divine, than being a person who truly makes a home in the sense of creating and maintaining an environment of human warmth, intellectual stimulation, and spiritual strength—someone who sees the wellsprings of personal meaning that lie beyond a first glance at a diaper, a frying pan, and a worn tennis shoe. Motherhood is above all a teaching task.--Sister Marie Hafen

The whole time I was there I couldn't stop admiring the home she'd made, and I also couldn't stop thinking of what people would think if they were to need to clean my house in my absence... they may as well just put a dumpster in the backyard and start loading 'er up. It all made me realize how incredibly little I have done to beautify our home. I've felt an urge, a tugging, to do more. I want to create a legacy that my husband and children will remember, that guests in our home will remember, and if something were to ever happen and I were to leave this earth, I hope that my home will speak to anyone who enters the way Kim's home spoke to me. The Spirit there is tangible, and the depths of her efforts evident.

To kickstart my new resolve I have begun the task of redoing roadside treasure furniture, part of which is matching nightstands. These will replace the flimsy little shelf on my side and the TV tray on Darren's side. I also bought a few packets of flower seeds today and will be preparing those for planting outside. I am slowly making progress with getting Emma's room where I want it to be (mostly focusing on wall hangings right now).

I never knew that a home beautified with love could be so powerful, and I'm grateful to find ways I can improve.

I'm a slacker

Oh my gooooooooooosh, I never thought I'd be one of those bloggers who, well, never blogged. I constantly think of posts I want to write, but when I actually have a minute I can never remember the things I want to write about. The few topics I do remember require more time than a few minutes can give me. Blerg!

One year

Emma turned 1 this past Sunday. I am having a hard time motivating myself to try to put into words all of my feelings on the matter, so I will simply say that I am in awe.  That girl inspires me.

Some pictures from the party:

 

This was taken on her actual birthday. I couldn't get a regular smiley
 picture, so I was happy to settle for her strawberry smirk ;)

I am very pleased with how everything turned out. I didn't have a ton of resources to work with, and I wanted to keep things simple (entertaining people socially is not my favorite thing). However, I also kind of wanted to set a standard for myself. You know, give myself something to beat with future parties and kids (if I should so desire to beat myself), but feel satisfaction that I didn't just give her a super lame-o party.

Points of pride:

• The homemade cake stand, which was clumsily connected off-centered. Boo for that. It sure is beautiful though!
• THE CAKE. IT WAS DELICIOUS. (My dad said if it were to receive a score it would be A+ ...and he's stingy with his foody compliments). I'm also happy with how it looks. Prettiest cake I've ever made!
• The micro-sized "happy birthday" banner. I just think it's cute. 
• The cradle Darren refinished. Nobody remembers where I got the cradle from, but I've had it as long as I can remember. At one point my sister Amanda and I spray painted it red, so Darren removed the paint and we stained it. I can't wait to watch her play with it. She's super adorbs playing with her doll. Mostly the crib serves as another place for her to deposit toys...she loves putting object in bowls and boxes. 

She continues to grow and develop in every aspect at an incredible rate. She is more grown up every day! However, she's also still so much a baby to me. I'm holding on to that as long as she'll let me.